I Always Meet These Women on The Colbert Report.

I find Lara Logan to be incredibly clear and strong.  She left Stephen Colbert snarky-less.  For that, she gets my respect. 

 I will be the first to admit that I don't understand war.  I don't like it.  Recent decisions made by our President both confuse and sadden me.  However, I don't know enough about Afghanistan to explain why.   This woman makes the subject approachable. Her interview helped me realize that A) I need to be learning more about the situation and B) No matter how much I know, there will always be elements to wars like these that I will not and cannot understand.  

Some are starting to think that Obama is a false prophet.  I don't.  I think that he is a leader that has and will continue to inspire people to drive this country in a new direction.  He is one person just as you and I are individuals.  Not one of us can change the country by ourselves.  We need to band together with each other, with him, with our enemies and we need change the way we spend, the way eat, the way we fight, the way we give.  Until WE make that change not one stimulus package or troop withdrawal will matter. 

The burden to end the war is in the hands of our nations leaders and those on the ground in Afghanistan.  The burden to cause change, the burden to undo terror and bring hope—that is ours. 

Full Moon Dream Board: The Stories Within

Every twenty-eight days the moon is full. It is large and round and reflecting its little heart out. Every twenty-eight days I can't sleep, I write like mad and I seem to find some new vision I feel I must live. A few months ago I discovered the Full Moon Dream Board.

It's a chance to harness all that energy and creativity and focus on something beautiful. It's a time to dedicate the next month, the next cycle of the moon the earth and my own natural rhythms to something meaningful.

This month it's "The Stories Within". I came across a quote the other day by William Zinsser (whom I am in love with and plan on hanging a picture of him on my bedroom wall like I did Brad Pitt when I was 16). In his book On Writing Well, Zinsser says, "...any time you can tell a story in the form of a quest or pilgrimage you'll be ahead of the game." Brilliant. Beautiful. Zinsser, you are my hero.

This blog is part of my quest, my stories are my pilgrimage. This month I will write the words that have been wondering through the wilderness of my mind. And like the dancers and animals and ships hanging by strings, I will frame them and find joy in them. I will tell a great story.

When I am a Great Poet

Someday that will be me.

Among the poets and their paint brushes

Among their rhythmic symphonies.

I too will reach into the darkness

And pull on the lose strings

Of that wondrous flying carpet.

I will brush the dust

Off the picture of the woman

Who could be my

Great, great, great

Grandmother.

I too will tap endlessly

The keys of formation

And draw upon the mystery

Of my magic wand.

My tongue will dance

Among the shapes

That make the sounds.

My ears will hear

Soft songs and

Roarous tones

Through my history and hope for tomorrow.

My heart will swell inside my chest

And squeeze dew from my eyes

As I see what I have never seen before

But had always known was there.

Broken and Beautiful

"Poison & Wine" by the Civil Wars is one my favorite songs of the year and the video is beautiful.

Brandi Carlile, Oolong Mimosa and William Zinsser

What can I say about October? I feel like I had to fight to get through the month. The daily routine of traveling by bus to the tops of the many Seattle hills for school and doctor appointments and work and friends got the best of me. And it gets dark. 4:30. 4:30! It was black outside! I’m glad the weather seems to have lifted a bit the last to week reveal the glowing shades of trees and the sweet smells of apples, persimmons, pomegranates and pears.

What new things did I explore in October? OO…well, I feel like I got back on track with my goals.

Café: Miro Tea on Ballard Ave. WOW! I’m obsessively in love with this teahouse! My favorite is the Java Mate. It’s rich and smooth and has little shavings of coffee beans in it. I’m also in love with the Oolong Mimosa: Oolong Black tea, Sparkling water, orange juice, basil.

Restaurant: La Isla, Ballard. I had wanted to dine in this Ballard restaurant for quite some time. My friend Alison and I, in search of margaritas, found our way there after a movie. It was affordable and DELICIOUS!

New Thing: The Paramount Theater is one of Seattle’s long-standing establishments. This month I found myself with some old and new friends for the Katie Herzig and Brandi Carlile concert. One word: PHENOMINAL! Here’s a video J The person who took this video had much better seats that I did…

BOOKS: 1) On Writing Well, Zinsser 2) Doomsday Book, Willis 3) Short Stories: “Speech Sounds”, Buttler & “Damascus”, Gregory 4) What We Do Know, Mary Oliver

The Lonely Nun

“Broken sticks and broken stones

Will turn to dust just like our bones

It's words that hurt the most now isn't it

Are you sad inside, are you home alone

If I could just pick up the phone

Maybe you could see a better day

And you won't waste away

under my watchful eye

Because I'm your hero and you're my weakness

Who's gonna break my fall

When the spinning starts

The colors bleed together and fade

Was it ever there at all

Or have I lost my way

The path of least resistance

Is catching up with me again today”

-Brandi Carlile “Again Today"

I have a theory about my blood type. I’m an O positive, which means I can give blood to everyone, but can only receive it from fellow O positives. I am a person who feels things very deeply and I expel a fair amount of emotion on the people and things I love. I’ve gone through plenty of seasons when I wondered if anyone realized that no one was giving me life.

I have felt invisible a lot in life, though it has not always been a negative feeling. I’ve been going through a phase the last few weeks of feeling very lonely, honestly very unloved. A few weeks ago a bunch of friends cancelled on me and I ended up doing things by myself that I would have enjoyed sharing. I subconsciously stopped asking friends to hang out. I waited three weeks during which my friends and I were super busy, so when I say I understand I truly mean it.

What I noticed more than anything was the feeling of being unloved. I started to wonder if anyone would really ever understand how I love to be loved? I was wondering if I was missing how people loved me?

How am I blind to how people love me? How am I blind to how to love my friends in a way they love? Instead of being super bummed I decided to sow what I wanted to reap. I was discussing my feelings with a friend and she was telling me she had been feeling the same. How sad is it that we are surrounded by people we consider our friends and we still feel so lonely? Later I gave her some chocolate. Something simple, that I know from experience feels like the world. Shortly after friends started calling and I have had some amazing times with old and new friends the last week.

Love takes energy. Some people are easy to love and some are harder. We all have our own moments of being both. It’s hard to give love when we feel so depleted ourselves. But we love anyway because otherwise we feel like we will die. But I need the love to give back. I need to be hugged. I need flowers. I need random lovely texts. I learned this month I need to love and be loved to survive and survive is what I plan to do.

photo: flickr.com/photos/borkodinus/3803172145/

September Came and Went...

My alternative approach to life has sent me around the world and amazing journeys and has brought me to Seattle, a place where I am happy and excited to plant myself. Now, after all my travels and experiences, I find myself rooted in this amazing city and studying writing. I started college and I’m soaking in every bit of wisdom I am gleaning!

All the things I was told were true. I have no time to read or write anything that is not for school. I’ve just spent the last five hours in a teashop in Ballard doing homework and have reached a point where I need to do something else. I’m so far ahead on my homework that I can write for my own good and not just a grade.

Here’s a quick update on my September goals. I feel behind the books, but my October list will more than make up it ;).

Books

1) A History of God, Karen Armstrong

2) A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Donald Miller

Café: Café Fiore, Ballard. If you want a place full of bearded men, this is it. Good coffee, beautiful café, delightful music, many beards.

Restaurant: Odd Fellows, Capitol Hill. I had the BLT and Ester had this fantastic salad of organic greens and duck. UH…WOW!

Thing: I went to College!

That was my September. The change of season has brought the rain and the revelation of my dreams to work toward being a “real” writer. I’m excited to write my October update as the first two weeks have been the most exciting of my year yet! Stay tuned….