Full Moon Dream Board: Lean Into the Cycle, But Don't Fall In.

September Full Moon came and went. And apparently it was special because it was the Harvest moon and it coincided with the fall equinox.  I missed all that. I've not been sleeping.  I've not been sleeping well anyway.  Have you noticed that I've also not be writing?  I haven't.  Not here, not there.  Not in a box with a fox. Not anywhere.  I'm just tired. 

So, BAM!  New month.  New school quarter. New art. 

"Lean Into the Cycle, But Don't Fall In" is based on one of the lessons from the Magpie Speak course.  The lesson was about managing the craziness that is often paired with the creative cycle.  For each cycle there is a "handy mantra" to help us cope with some of the stress each part of the cycle will likely cause.  I listed them down the right side. 

• "The right thing will come at the right time."
• "Nothing is ever wasted."
• "One step at a time."
• "Breathe the next breath. Write the next line."
• "This too shall pass." 

I find the cycle comforting and helpful in explaining some of the tiredness I feel at times.  As my gears shift this fall into a new schedule (and a crazy one at that), I want to remember to take a moment each day to check in with myself and remind myself of all the above.  But I want to make sure that the control the cycle has over me and the control I have over the cycle are balanced.  I don't to fall into the cycle so far that I get lost.  I'd like to keep my head above water. 

Power Stories with Magpie Girl

Hi Mom! And any other random readers out there.  I know I've not been around here much.  I've kind of gone inwards lately.  It's been a good time for me to evaluate my writing and my education and I am finding that while it feels like a sacrifice now, I love the path I am on and where it is leading me.  

Part of that path involves my new(ish) job working as a Virtual Assistant to Rachelle Mee-Chapman of Magpie Girl and Flock. She's offering a new course in a couple of weeks called Power Stories and I'm excited to share this little interview we did with you.  I recommend signing up.  Enjoy! 

1.      What inspired you to develop and offer your readers this course?

My post *8Things I know about Standing in Your Own Power really resonated with Magpie Girl readers, and people emailed me asking for more information and advice.  I’m always excited by topics that emerge organically from the community. So I created more material around the topic, since it was such a felt need.  Many women struggle with standing in the truth of who they are.  Institutions, male influence, cultural images of “ideal” women – all these can push us around. Yet my young daughters, ages 10 and 12, intuitively stand in their own power. This tells me we aren’t meant to shrink and hide ourselves. I believe we can recover the ability to be powerful.

2.      How did you decide what other voices to bring into the class and what do you think the diversity of voices brings to the course? 

 Because learning to stand in my own power is a growing-edge for me, I wanted to recruit partners in the process. I thought of women who just hum with power, confidence, and kindness; and invited them to participate in the course. The lessons I received back from them were incredible! Having so many voices in our teaching pool helps us learn from a wide range of life experience – gay/straight/bi, married/divorced/single; child-free/mothers, 30/40/50 – there are so many perspectives amongst the contributors; it’s bound to meet the needs of far more people than my voice alone could impact.

3.      Do you have a favorite aspect of the Power Stories?

I’m really pleased that it has collection of learning tools – essays, podcasts, videos, and worksheets.  That variety makes it very textured and accessible. And I love how communal it is – both that the idea for the course emerged out of the Magpie Girl community, and that it is lead by a collection of amazing teachers. Plus I get a kick out of some of the downloadable treats my design partner is cooking up!

4.      How does Power Stories tie into the other work you do on Magpie Girl, and Flock ? 

 At Magpie Girl I provide care for creative souls. At Flock we are building an online soultribe for spiritual misfits. Power Stories offers a skill-set that both communities need. Magpies need to stand in their own power to develop their artistic voice and to make room for creative pursuits. Flock members need a deep-rooted stance to support them as they re-define faith and spiritual practice in their own powerful terms.

5.      How will the course fit into busy lives?
You can read each lesson in Power Stories (or do each worksheet) as they arrive in your email box   every couple of days. Or you can save them up and give yourself a bunch soulcare goodness on a self-styled weekend retreat. It’s up to you. Plus, I’m sort of a lackadaisical minimalist. I like a nice turn of phrase, but I don’t want to read filler. So each piece of material is honed to be beautifully to the point.

ART POST: You can wear a watch, but don't count on it.

I'm slightly obsesses with these wonderful watch and clock pieces I found at the Fremont Sunday Market.  Here you go.  (Some day I'll figure out how to take a decent picture, for now these will have to do.)

ART POST: Trees

These paintings don't have a name.  I was trying to use up some paint chips I had gathered at the store for another project and this is what came of them.  I love trees.  Very much.  I also wanted to see what happened when I watered down acrylic paint to almost water color.   I kinda like these...a lot.

ART POST: The Namesake

Recently I read The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri.  It left some big impressions on me.  The cover in particular inspired a series of paintings.  I've never really painted before so I went the art store, bought some supplies and began to paint.  I name the series after the book.  All the paintings are acrylic on wood.

Full Moon Dream Board: I Am Not A Fraud.

This week my free-will horoscope said:

Are you slipping into one of those moods in which you feel like a fraud? Are you starting to worry that maybe you're not who you say you are? If so, I want to remind you of what happened the last time these feelings got stirred up: You became super motivated to prove that you are indeed who you say you are. And that had a most wonderful effect, didn't it? It led you to locate and call on resources you hadn't known you could have access to; it spurred you to purge some self-deception from your system; and it roused you to intensify your commitment to rigorous authenticity. How about an encore?

I don’t care if you believe in the authenticity or even the holiness of horoscopes—wisdom is wisdom and this is exactly where I find myself this month.  I feel a little like a fraud.

I had an interesting encounter with my writing this quarter.  Kerouac, Burroughs, Ginsberg—they all made me want to put down my pen.  They did to me whatever the opposite of inspire is. But my Government and Politics of the Middle East class has had me enthralled all quarter writing papers on topics I found so interesting I wish I could have wrote a whole book on them. 

Needless to say, I feel very unbalanced artistically. 

I wrote an article a few months ago for Ocsplora about my contradicting desires.  These desires match exactly to my feeling of being a fraud.  How can I, one little person, want everything at the same time?  But I’m not a fraud and I do want them, so this month’s Full Moon Dream Board represents that. 

First, the puzzle and chain link fence.  Both of these images pertain to art.  The puzzle is whimsical, natural, round edges around every piece.  The fence is a metal, rigid, mathematical pattern.  Both are art.  I want to find the balance between the two.

The girls.  In the bottom left corner is the image of person made out of pins.  I often feel like I’m on pins and needles, a ghost of person and stagnant.  The girl walking down the country path is a whole person with flowing hair and is warm in a surrounding that is cool.  She is moving forward down her path to what is next.

Home.  Ah, there it is—my cabin by the lake.  (Ok, this is not really what I picture, but it’s close.)  There she is nestled into the trees and the field and I know the lake is nearby because that part of the picture was torn out and has been hanging on my bedroom wall for years. The upside down picture is Istanbul, my other home.  These represent my desire to be in one place and travel the world.  

The Last Poem I Wrote Before All the Rest Were Lost...

Five years ago today my house burned down.  In my purse was a copy of the last poem I wrote before the fire.  The sole survivor.

March 2005

The one I call myself

I find I barely know

When all I see falls away

All I can touch

Becomes no more

I’m left in the dark

Among the stillness

I wish I didn’t know

I long for a touch

A whisper in the dark

To sweep me away

And carry me home

To that place where I know you wait

The place where I can see all that is, has been and will be

All this was to lead to one place

The place where time is no more

Fear is no more

Tears are no more

And when all is stripped away

I’m left there all alone

With the one who knows me better

Knows me more

I see that all that was me

Was a broken image of a tattered man

Who was blinded by a nature not his own.